Too Far Gone
by TheWickedQuill
Summary: Max comes to a realization and tries to come correct, but fails. After an unexpected turn of events, will she lose herself and all she holds dear? MA implied.
1. Max

**Too Far Gone**

Title: Too Far Gone  
Author: jracklesfan77  
Rating: PG-13 to R (for language and references)  
Show: DA  
Genre: Drama?  
Pairing: MA  
Type: Complete

Summary: Max comes to a realization, tries to come correct. After an unexpected turn of events, will she lose herself and all she holds dear?

Author's Note: AU where Biggs is still alive and Manticore is still kicking.

(Set after the destruction of the DNA lab and the Seattle Manticore facility that resulted in all the transgenics, transhumans and anomolies being set free and taking up residence in TC. Just assume there were other compounds in the country and that Manticore is still working its evil!)

* * *

**Part One **

**Max **

I hated him. I hated how he made me feel. How he evoked feelings of need and dependency. I hated his eyes, laughing eyes that always saw through me. I hated his smile cuz it made me melt inside, made me feel weak. I hated how everyone liked him, enjoyed his company. How he drew a crowd of admirers for both his good looks and his personality. I hated how the entire world seemed to disappear the minute he stepped into a room. I hated how he held himself, so sure, so poised, and so confident.

As it hit me like a ton of bricks, I jumped to my feet and ran up the stairs, leaving the chaos of Crash behind me, my friends open-mouthed at my sudden exit. I hopped on my Ninja and rode down the dark streets, hurtling towards Logan 's place at full speed. I could feel the wind in my hair and I imagined another hand, other than Logan , caressing me, whisper-soft…

Pulling to a halt outside Logan 's building I thought of what I would say and how I could break it to him that we just "weren't like that" and that we never would be. I walked up the 13 flights so I would have time to think, to formulate my choice of words. I reached his door and suddenly all worry dissolved.

I opened the door and did a double take. There was Logan , naked, on the couch with Asha. Breathing, screaming and panting. Two sweaty bodies clawing at each other. It was somehow amusing. I realised I had never seen him naked. I hadn't ever seen him with his shirt off. And I am truly repulsed. I take a step back and convulse with laughter. Stifling the sounds, I back out of the door and into the hallway, all the while awash with a newfound feeling of relief. I am finally free.

Then it hit me. Of all the things I hated about the boy, it seems that the thing I hated most was how much I loved him. And now I could tell him.

I blurred down the stairs, rushed back to Crash hoping to find my friends still there.

O.C. was deep in thought. She had her head bowed and was rubbing her temples with her fingers. Sketchy had had one too many drinks and was chasing every skirt in sight. Poor old Sketch, no luck with the ladies tonight.

I scan the crowd for him. He's nowhere to be seen.

I turn towards O.C. and run into Biggs and Cece. Sliding into place next to Biggs I ask if he's seen the boy. He gives me a strange look. Maybe it's because I can't stop smiling. Maybe it's because I am relaxed for the first time in months and the air around me is no longer charged with tension or anger. Most likely it's because I generally don't ask about the boy. I lower my eyes, pained by the knowledge that I had hurt him, so many times.

Cece turns to me and whispers, "He's gone home."

I thank her and quickly get up from the table, tell my friends goodnight and head off in the direction of his place.

Taking the stairs two at a time I think of what I am about to say to him. I imagine his reaction only daring to hope he may feel what I do or something like it. I reach his door, turn the knob and...open my eyes to a world of pain.

There inside, in a mess of twisted limbs, is Alec. With. Another. Woman.

Alec's acute and well tuned senses pick up on my presence and he turns towards the door. I swivel and run, blurring out of the building, hopping on my bike and forcing myself to move. I drive for hours, until the insistent whistling of the wind in my ears convinces me to rest. It's almost sunrise.

Returning to my apartment, I find O.C. there, pacing.

"Boo, whatcha doin' runnin' round town at dis hour?" she asks.

I look away, hot tears threatening to fall, head into my room and rummage around the closet for a duffel. I begin pulling my clothes out of the closet and stuffing my belongings into the bag.

Finally, shoulders heaving, I do something I haven't done in a long time. I begin to cry. I let go. I crumple to the floor. Cindy comes running. "I was too late," I whisper, chokingly.

Taking one look at me she senses I have gone beyond simple pain. With my head bowed, I make a decision. Even without words, Cindy knows me too well. "Boo," she says, "you leavin'?" I nod my head. "Sugah, tell Original what happened?" So I tell her. About Logan . About Alec. About how I feel and what I need and how it's too late to do anything about it. How my having held back helped both the men in my life move forward, leaving me behind.

After sitting with O.C. for a while, I finish packing my things. I say goodbye to my best friend and turn away, not allowing her to see just how fragile I am. I hop on my baby and speed away. Thinking of happier times when my family was together, when I had Zack, Tinga, Zane, Jondy, Brin, Ben and the others. As I contemplate just how much I need my family and friends I try to ignore the fact that I am running from them...

I reach the Sector Checkpoint. And out of nowhere I hear a voice "452, we meet again."

I turn to face Renfro, my gaze stony, every inch of my body coiled and ready to pounce. But not before I'm blasted with tazers from all sides. I collapse into darkness.

I open my eyes to a bright light and the realisation that my arms and legs are pinned down. I am on my back, staring up at the ceiling, noticing the stark whiteness and clinical sterility that surrounds me. I turn my head, taking in the scene around me: Everywhere there are white-coated doctors, nurses and orderlies. There are machines bleeping and whirring and surgical instruments.

Manticore. I'm back in Manticore!

Renfro enters the room and her icy smile makes my blood run cold. I fight against my restraints with no success. I am indeed helpless.

"Welcome home, 452. We know you'll be very happy here." She says, her voice dripping with venom.

She turns to the doctor on her right, whispers something in his ear. He mumbles a reply and leaves the room. Renfro looks back at me for a moment and says "Let's get this moving people, we need her, and we need her soon." And then she's gone.

I feel the needle pierce my skin and slowly I pass out.

* * *

I don't know how long I was under. I drift in and out of consciousness feeling varying amounts of pain. Now and again there are bright flashing lights, sounds, smells, even tastes. At first, I struggle. But after a time, seeing photos of your friends and family pegged together with words like SNAKE, POISON, TRAITOR, MISSION , DUTY and DISCIPLINE, things tend to run into each other. One big hodgepodge of people, places and memories. 

I still have my memories. Brief recollections of friends and experiences, but they feel strange; incomplete, like there should be more.

I smell burning flesh. Somewhere, deep inside, my mind is telling me, "Max, that's you burning." Then that little voice in my head laughs at me and taunts me "Who's Max?" I'm Max! I scream in silent agony before the torrent of pain consumes my being and I let go again, drifting to black.

Suddenly I am aware of silence. A cold, dark, lonely space where I can only hear the sound of my own breathing. I roll over and get up off my bed. It hurts to move. I look down at my broken body and wonder where all the cuts and bruises came from. I can't remember my own name. Yes, vaguely, I can. I'm…Max.

Somehow I have managed to hold on to a little bit of my old self. I hadn't thought that possible after all I had heard about psy-ops and reindoctrination. There had to be a reason for this. I just wish I knew what it was…

* * *

The sound of the door of my cell being opened causes me to shift my gaze. My eyes settle on a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy around my age. He beckons to me and I follow him out into the hallway. He looks vaguely familiar. As he stares at me, I can't seem to shake the feeling that I know him. That I need to remember him somehow. I shrug away the thought and concentrate on my surroundings. 

So this is the new Manticore facility. It's clean and bright. I hear the sound of soldiers performing training exercises. I can hear the chanting; see the synchronised kicks and punches. There are new moves and manoeuvres I had not seen before. There is just so much to take in. I have to absorb it all; suck it up and learn to become a soldier again. My survival depends on it.

The boy turns to me. "X5-452, welcome to Unit 7." He says. Slowly he points out my new C.O. and 2IC. He then looks at me with a sudden intensity, making me shiver. I know this boy! But from where? He opens his mouth to speak. "My designation is 511…"

His voice fades as I turn and look at the faces around me. I can see unmasked hatred there. The tension in the room is thick and electric. I continue to suss them out as I try to understand why they are throwing daggers with their eyes. My gaze rests on a tall, gorgeous male X5 sitting in the corner of the room. He too looks familiar, yet I can't place him. He looks up at me, a puzzled look on his face. There is a twinkle in his eye and a smile tugs at his mouth as he stares at me. Suddenly I jump up, blur across the room and throw my arms around him, crying out "Zane!"

He slowly removes my arms from around his neck, lowering them to my sides, his grip tight on my hands. He looks down at me. "Maxie?" he whispers. "Oh my god, Maxie. I thought you were dead, little sister!" Sliding his arms around me, he holds me in a tight embrace.

The other X5's in the room relax a bit when they realise that their new team member might not be completely evil after all.

Resting against Zane's strong frame, I look at my new unit. I am aware of the hard looks I am receiving and decide to set them straight.

"I'm Max. X5-452, '09 escapee. I know you probably all hate me, along with my unit, or my siblings as I like to refer to them. You have good reason to hate us seeing how Manticore treated you after we escaped. I don't blame you for your anger and your hurt, but I wish you would try to understand that we had no idea what they would do to you…

"Do you all like Zane here? Do you respect him? Do you count him? Do you trust him?" I ask in trepidation. I see them nod their heads. So I plough on. "Zane and I were in the same unit until '09. He's my 'brother'. He's managed to adapt here, be accepted as one of your own, gain your friendship and trust. I only hope that one day you will have those same feelings for me; that I will prove to be an asset and a soldier our unit can be proud of, someone you can count on to get your back. For the time being, I trust things here will go smoothly and that we can all be amicable, if not friendly." Heads nodding all around, I slowly calm down and take another look around the room.

Looking pointedly at my new CO I ask, "Anyone care to fill me in on who's who and what's what in this hell-hole you call home?" I sit down and wait for someone to start talking. A short, blonde girl with bright blue eyes states her designation and speciality and briefly tells me about herself. The young boy next to her begins his spiel as well but I'm not having any of it.

"Hold up guys! Don't you have names?" I ask as I looked at them, one by one. Zane stands and turns to face me. "Max," he says with a smile. "You and I both know that names define us. Did you think I wouldn't pass some off on my own unit!" He puts his arm around my shoulder and introduced me to my new family.

"Maxie, may I introduce Nadine, Lock, Whiz, Biggs, Dodge, Tanner, Billie, Lea, our 2IC Kate, and our C.O., Munk."

* * *

"Hey Biggs," I called out as we walked towards mess hall after a hard day's training. 

"Max," he replied with a grin. "How's it going?"

"Man, I'm exhausted and starved. If you looked up the meaning of the word 'hell' in the dictionary, there'd be a picture of Sandoval or Renfro. Who cooks up these insane manoeuvres and shit that we get stuck with day after day! Alec once told me…" my voice cut off by a sudden torrent of memories and pain.

"Max? Max, what's wrong?" Biggs asked, alarmed at the stiffening of my body, my hands clutching my head. He put his arm around my shoulders, drawing me into his strong embrace. I rested my head on his chest as I broke into deep, heart-wrenching sobs.

"Max-" he whispered, softly caressing my hair in a soothing gesture. "You can't do this in public, Max. Come on." Quickly, he pulled me out of the hallway and into one of the empty classrooms.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" he asked, as I sank onto a chair, Biggs taking his place on the floor by my side.

"Oh Biggs," I whimpered. "I can't remember them. My friends. I remember but I don't and its killing me! I hear their voices in my sleep, I call out to them, but I can't see their faces! It's like my memories aren't real. Like a huge part of me is missing. What's wrong with me?"

Biggs leaned toward me and put a comforting hand on my arm. "Max, I feel the same way. I was transferred to Unit 7 not long before you. I have the same problem…I can't remember so much of my life, though I was living on the outside too. When you talk about your friends, its like I know them…maybe because I had the same kind of life. A job, friends, good times…I miss it. Miss them." He took a deep breath and continued. "The worst part for me though, is that I don't even remember their names. I can't see their faces or hear their voicesand I can't put names to them. But I know that they were my friends. You can at least replay conversations in your head. I'm...it's like my mind is empty." He concluded bitterly.

I reached out to touch his hand as we looked at each other in silence, each taking comfort in the knowledge that we were not alone in our fears and our pain. It felt good, comfortable, and safe.

* * *

After our confessions, Biggs and I began to build a tentative friendship. We both felt a strong urge to be with each other, talk, share our experiences, thoughts, feelings. It's as if we have a connection somehow. If I believed in reincarnation, I'd say we were friends in a previous life. 

It was good to have a friend. Having my brother Zane back in my life made the days more bearable. But Biggs and I have a friendship that needs no words. A comfortable companionship that would come to save us both during the months ahead.

Days, weeks and months passed. I integrated into the grind and routine of the days at Manticore. Training, Minor Ops, Missions. As time passed I felt more and more at ease with my unit. We had shown each other time and time again that we would lay our lives down for each other.

We shared stories of previous experiences. I told them as much as I could about my past and my life on the outside before my capture. I cried to Zane and Biggs about my missing memories and about the dull ache in my heart, as I lay in my bed night after night trying to remember, hearing voices but not seeing faces.

The missions grew in number as my fighting capabilities and training improved over time. I was fast, determined and successful. I pushed myself to my limits and then beyond. I became the soldier I was bred to be. I rose in stature both amongst my unit and amongst the elite command of Manticore.

When Kate was wounded in a training exercise, they pulled her from our unit. The sound of the single gunshot made us all shiver, silent tears falling down our faces in the dark of the night. We made a pact to be the best we could be. And we were.

When Munk failed to return from his latest mission alive, Renfro called me into her office. I stood at attention, staring straight ahead, giving no indication of independent thought other than my obedience to her call.

"State your designation, soldier" she said as she looked me up and down.

"X5-452 as requested, Ma'am".

Renfro knitted her brows together and stared at me, mouth pursed. "452, I have some news for you. You and…" she consulted her clip-board, "X5-511 have both been promoted. You will report directly and only to me; 511 will be under you in a direct chain of command. Is that clear?" she looked at me.

I was shocked. When had I become Renfro's golden girl? How had I moved so high up in the ranks here that I, an '09 escapee, a potential flight risk, had been promoted to… C.O.! And with Biggs as my 2IC… I almost felt pleased. I kept my emotions in check, my soldier face never faltering, so as not to betray my feelings.

"Permission to speak, Ma'am?"

"Granted."

"Why me, Ma'am?"

"Ah, 452. You have settled in here so well. You have completed every mission in record time and with great success. You care for and lead your unit extremely well and the directors and I can see they respect you. It is the natural choice. You have become the soldier we all knew you could be." She replied, a smug smile on her lips.

"You and 511 will report to my office tomorrow at 0700. I will bring you up to speed on your mission parameters at that time. Dismissed." With that, she flicked her hand at me, signalling that I was free to go.

I walked down the dark hallway towards Biggs' room. We had to talk.


	2. Biggs

**Too Far Gone**

** Part Two**

**

* * *

**

**_Previously:_ **

_"Permission to speak, Ma'am?"_

_"Granted."_

_"Why me, Ma'am?"_

_"Ah, 452. You have settled in here so well. You have completed every mission in record time and with great success. You care for and lead your unit extremely well and the directors and I can see they respect you. It is the natural choice. You have become the soldier we all knew you could be." She replied, a smug smile on her lips._

_"You and 511 will report to my office tomorrow at 0700. I will bring you up to speed on your mission parameters at that time. Dismissed." With that, she flicked her hand at me, signalling that I was free to go._

_I walked down the dark hallway towards Biggs' room. We had to talk._

* * *

**Biggs**

Cece and I left Crash not long after Max went in search of Alec. Come to think of it, that in itself was a weird occurrence. I looked at my girlfriend and smiled.

"Cece, I'm sure glad we never had such drama in our relationship!" I said, chuckling.

Cece looked at me questioningly. "Whaddaya mean, Biggs?"

"Alec and Max. They're worse than a Shakespearian play. The bickering, the banter, the fights…There are enough sparks between those two to power the entire city of Seattle ! And what was up with Max tonight anyway?"

Cece shrugged. "Who knows? She was acting really strange. Y'think she got a clue finally?" she asked, thoughtful.

"Hell, I hope so! Um, so what say we go home?" I said, winking suggestively.

Cece laughed as she pulled me by the arm towards our apartment building.

We were about halfway home when I remembered I'd forgotten my jacket at Crash. I turned to Cece.

"Hon, why don't you head home. I've gotta go back to Crash to get my jacket. See ya soon?" she nodded and walked off.

I got to Crash and went inside, my eyes sweeping the room for any trace of my friends. They must have all gone home. I approached the bar to ask the bartender about my jacket.

"Hey, Mike!" I called. "Anyone turn in a brown leather jacket? I can't find mine."

"Biggs, my man! Sorry buddy. But you can check the back entrance. Sometimes lost and found items show up there." Mike smiled as he dealt with another customer.

"Thanks. See ya 'round". I said and headed to the back of the bar.

As I neared the rear exit, I saw my jacket hanging on a peg. Thank God I thought. I'd have been more than a little pissed if I'd lost that jacket. I took a bullet from a guard stealing it and I didn't have any plans on going through that again in my immediate future.

I noticed the open door as I was pulling the jacket over my shoulders. Tilting my head, I faintly heard the sound of someone whimpering. Quietly, I opened the door and looked around.

The back alley behind Crash was dirty and dark. Steam poured out of a myriad of pipes that lined the walls. A stray cat jumped off a nearby dumpster. The smell of garbage was strong and repugnant.

Ugh, get me back to my girlfriend! I thought, wishing I'd gone home with Cece and forgotten the damn jacket. I could have been in her arms, breathing in the sweetest of scents, but no, here I am in a stinky alley, following the sounds of…

I was brought out of my reverie by the increased whimpering that had led me out here to begin with. I walked toward the noise, treading softly. I peered around the side of the dumpster to find a huddled form, shaking uncontrollably.

"Are you ok?" I asked, bending down to touch the shuddering body.

"I am now" came the reply. The face twisting up at me sneered. I reeled backward and fell.

I looked up into the barrel of a gun. I closed my eyes, waiting for the shot that would surely end my life. There was a blinding pain as the bullet struck my shoulder. The last thing I remember was screaming "Cece!" before I succumbed to darkness.

* * *

I woke up alone, and in tremendous pain. My body hurt. I was covered in bruises and cuts. My head felt like it was going to explode. My eyes stung. 

I looked around the room, noticing the bed I was laying on, a lone table and chair and some shelves on the wall. There were three sets of fatigues, folded neatly, three t-shirts, a belt, some socks, underwear, and a pair of combat boots. The walls were a light grey color, depressing really, but otherwise bare.

I didn't recognize my surroundings. I got up off the bed, wincing from the pain and hobbled over to the shelves. I picked up a t-shirt and shook it out. There, staring back at me, taunting me, was an identity tag sewn into the collar.

511.

My designation.

Manticore?

Oh god, no! I thought. I raised my already bruised fist and slammed it into the concrete wall of my cell.

My prison.

I'd never been in Psy-Ops before. But I'd heard enough about it to know that I wasn't supposed to remember the things I was remembering. Like my name for instance. I know my name is Biggs. Hell, I chose it myself! And the fact that I had a life on the outside before being captured. Maybe this was all part of the torture process. Giving me a tiny slice of my memories but never enough to satisfy me.

I close my eyes and lay back on my bed as I try to remember…

God, it hurts! Please help me remember! There is a girl. I know there is. She must be beautiful. Yeah, must be. She is! She is! Aaaaaahh! Why can't I remember her, her name? An apartment, a bed with light blue sheets. The sweetest of smiles. Those lips…but I can't see them. Why can't I see them? Oh god, why can't I remember! …He's laughing. My best, bud. We're playing pool. I can see him standing there. Tall, good-looking, cocky. He smirks. He does that, of course he does. He's a real character, my best bud. God, what's his name? He…he's…DAMMIT! HELP ME!

I was always a good soldier. I followed orders, fulfilled my duties, went on missions, was successful. I'm still a good soldier. I've had a taste of freedom, but I accept the fact that I'm back in soldier mode, full time. I have to be. My survival depends on it.

Lost in thought, I'm startled by the light tap on my door.

"511, Director Renfro wants to see you in her office, right away."

I looked at the guard and nodded. Rising from my bed, I open the door and stride out into the corridor.

It's late and the other members of my unit, Unti 7, are in the rec room enjoying a leisurely evening of pool and TV. I wasn't up for games this evening, preferring to lose myself to thought, trying to provoke memories from my battered psyche. Anything to lessen the pain of knowing but not knowing, of remembering, but not remembering.

I raise my hand and knock on Renfro's door.

"Enter" she calls from within.

I open the door and immediately stand to attention.

"X5-511 as requested, ma'am" I state my designation, knowing that this bitch of a woman would expect nothing else.

"511 do you know why I've summoned you? We have captured the rogue X5-452."

Renfro stares at me, almost as if I'm supposed to know this rogue X5. I've heard of her, hell we all have. The infamous traitor, escaped in '09 with 11 others. I remain still, my face impassive. This seems to appease her and she continues.

"452 has been through Psy-Ops and reindoctrination and is now ready to join her unit. See to it that she is taken from her current quarters in isolation to meet Unit 7."

"Permission to speak, Ma'am?"

"Granted." Renfro nods curtly.

"Ma'am, is it wise to put the rogue in with a unit as advanced as Unit 7?" I enquire, thinking of the ten extra years of training we all have. Wouldn't she just slow us down? Get us into serious shit if she isn't up to par the thoughts run unbidden in my mind.

"This is my decision. X5-452 and her fellow traitor X5-599 could have been the cream of the crop here at Manticore had they not escaped in '09 and had they followed through with their training. They were exceptional. I have every belief that we will all benefit from this. You are dismissed." She flicked her wrist at me and looked down at her papers.

I took that as a signal to leave.

I approach the isolation ward in trepidation. This place gives me the creeps. Having been here myself, not so long ago, I can't help but feel sorry for 452. Being left alone to your with just your thoughts and memories to keep you company can be torture. Torture that I unfortunately, still experience every night as I lay in my room.

452 is a legend. True, we hated the escapees for what they caused their twins to suffer, what they caused us all to suffer after they broke out in '09. The tightening of security, the increase in training, the punishments. The directors figured if they managed to escape, we obviously had it too easy.

They taught us to hate the rogues. Drummed it into us day after day. And so I wonder, who is 452 and what is she like?

I open the door of her cell and my eyes widen in surprise. She's beautiful. Ok, so all the girls at Manticore are beautiful, it's how they were made. But 452 is almost exotic. Small build, brown, almond-shaped eyes, full pouty lips, luscious dark hair.

I beckon to 452 and she follows me out into the hallway. I can't help but think she looks vaguely familiar. I push the thought away as we reach the rec room. Opening the door, we step inside. All eyes suddenly on me as I turn to her.

"X5-452, welcome to Unit 7." I say. Slowly I point out our C.O. and 2IC.

I look at 452 with intensity. I can see her shiver. Does she feel it too? I know this girl. But from where? Hoping to get a response, some recognition, I announce, "My designation is 511…"


	3. Alec

**Too Far Gone**

** Part Three**

**

* * *

**

_**Previously: **_

_I open the door of her cell and my eyes widen in surprise. She's beautiful. Ok, so all the girls at Manticore are beautiful, it's how they were made. But 452 is almost exotic. Small build, brown, almond-shaped eyes, full pouty lips, luscious dark hair._

_I beckon to 452 and she follows me out into the hallway. I can't help but think she looks vaguely familiar. I push the thought away as we reach the rec room. Opening the door, we step inside. All eyes suddenly on me as I turn to her._

_"X5-452, welcome to Unit 7." I say. Slowly I point out our C.O. and 2IC._

_I look at 452 with intensity. I can see her shiver. Does she feel it too? I know this girl. But from where? Hoping to get a response, some recognition, I announce, "My designation is 511…"_

_

* * *

_

**Alec**

Alec sauntered into Jampony the next morning. He'd slept well and he felt good, really good. Hmm he mused, running a hand through his dark blond hair and allowing himself a self-satisfied smile. After an intensely gratifying evening with a stunning redhead, why wouldn't I feel good?

He glanced at the board behind the dispatch counter and sighed. He was paired with Max. Well, at least I get to annoy the hell outta her he thought. I love when she gets riled up. She's so damn sexy when she's pissed off.

He spotted OC near the lockers chatting with some of their co-workers. They were two of the many transgenics Alec had managed to talk Normal into hiring. Baz and Nell were a couple of bubbly X-5s with a penchant for mischief that had Normal teetering on the verge of insanity. He smiled as he walked over to his friends.

"Morning." He said as he nodded to Baz and Nell. "Hey Cindy , you seen Max anywhere? We're doing runs together today." he enquired as he turned to the small, chocolate skinned woman he was proud to call his friend.

OC looked at him sadly. "You 'n me baby boo, we needa talk." She nodded toward the supply room. "Wit'out an audience."

Closing the door behind him, he sent Cindy a questioning look. "What's up Cin?"

"My boo's gone and left, dat's what. Came home 'round dawn, stressed 'n depressed. Wouldna talk to me neither. Boo broke down cryin'." Cindy paused, unsure of how to continue.

It must have been because of Logan . Max was always sad after being around him. They couldn't even touch because of the virus. Alec never understood why Max clung to the noxious Ordinary. He was so obviously wrong for her. She deserved to be with someone who could touch her, hold her, accept her for who she was, make her happy.

Alec looked at OC expectantly. After a short silence he prompted, "Was it Logan ?"

"Well" Cindy said, con temp t evident in her voice, "Rollerboy's been busy. Dat dog's been sniffin' up another tree and my Boo walked in on it."

"Shit!" Alec looked at OC in shock. He never would have thought the Log would have the gall. "So she took off? God, I can only imagine how she…"

Cindy interrupted. "Dat's not it at all. My boo'll probably kill me for tellin' ya, but…you really da reason dat she's gone."

"Me!" he asked in surprise. "What do I have to do with this?"

"Well, sugah, Rollerboy bein' wit Asha din phase my girl at all! She said she was finally free. And dat she figured she was in love wit someone else. So she went lookin' for 'im so she could tell 'im. Seems Casanova was also gettin' it on." OC looked pointedly at Alec with her last words.

A little slow on the uptake, Alec stared at Cindy , perplexed. Then it hit him. Max. She's been at his apartment last night. He'd been in quite a uncompromising position. She'd stood in his doorway, staring open-mouthed before she'd turned and ran.

Cindy 's words registered fully. …she figured she was in love wit someone else. So she went lookin' for 'im so she could tell 'im. Alec's throat constricted. His chest felt tight.

"Me?" he whispered finally.

Cindy reached out to him. "Dat's right, baby boo."

Alec stared at Cindy in shock. Never in his wildest dreams ok maybe once or twice had he imagined Max could love him. But here was OC telling him just that. That Max had feelings for him, had gone looking for him.

He couldn't quite understand it though. Max knew what he was like. He was always with some girl or another. Admittedly, it didn't look good, but he hadn't planned on staying celibate whilst waiting for Max to fall for him. As far as he knew, that might never have happened. But it had.

She _would_ have taken it wrong. Max wasn't one to analyze. She wouldn't have seen it as his 'normal' routine. She'd have seen it as a betrayal to her. Damn you, Max. Why the fuck do you have to make things so complicated She must have panicked. And now she was gone.

Cindy saw the emotions flit across his face. She patted him lightly on the shoulder and walked out of the supply room, leaving him to his thoughts.

* * *

"ALEC!" Cece's panicked voice rang throughout Jam Pony. She was running, breathless and her eyes were wild. 

Alec quickly hurried over to her and a small crowd gathered around the two transgenics.

"Cece, what's wrong?" Alec asked, taking in her frantic movements and unkempt appearance.

"It's Biggs. They got him!" she sobbed as she collapsed against Alec's chest in defeat.

Alec made eye contact with Cindy and Sketchy and motioned them to the slightly secluded area behind the lockers. This was not a conversation to share with their co-workers.

Gently easing Cece onto a bench, he gripped her shoulders and turned her to him. "What happened?" he pressed gently.

She took a deep breath. "Last night we were walking home from Crash. We were almost at the apartment when he remembered he'd forgotten his jacket. He told me to go on ahead and that he'd meet me there later.

"He never came home." she choked out.

"Aw, boo, y'know yo man! Maybe he ran into some old friends or got caught up in sumpthin'. It don't mean dat he…" Cece cut her off.

"I went by Crash on my way here this morning," she lowered her voice. "I found his cell phone, Cindy . He never goes anywhere without his phone. And then I saw the blood..." Cece closed her eyes as tears streamed down her cheeks.

Alec wrapped his arms around the frightened girl, his face tight.

"Sketchy, call Logan. We're gonna need Eyes Only's help on this."

Sketchy jumped at the harsh tone coming from his friend. 494 the soldier had taken over. This was not the Alec he knew. The face of the man in front of him was cold and hard. Alec, for all intents and purposes, seemed to have vanished. Sketchy gulped, then nodded and ran for the phone.

All thoughts of Max vanished from his mind for the moment. Biggs is missing. This day can't possibly get any worse. But Alec couldn't have been more wrong…


	4. Logan

**Too Far Gone**

** Part Four**

**

* * *

**

_**Previously:**_

_"Sketchy, call Logan . We're gonna need Eyes Only's help on this."_

_Sketchy jumped at the harsh tone coming from his friend. 494 the soldier had taken over. This was not the Alec he knew. The face of the man in front of him was cold and hard. Alec, for all intents and purposes, seemed to have vanished. Sketchy gulped, then nodded and ran for the phone._

_All thoughts of Max vanished from his mind for the moment. Biggs is missing. This day can't possibly get any worse. But Alec couldn't have been more wrong…_

_

* * *

_

**Logan**

Logan sat on his bed, head in hands. He had just hung up the phone with Original Cindy . She'd called to tell him the news. It was a conversation he could have done without. It had left his heart broken and filled him with guilt.

He closed his eyes and recalled Cindy 's harsh words.

_"You a dog, _ _Logan_ _. Din even have the decency to tell my boo dat it's over. No, ya had t'go cheatin' on my girl. Dat's low. I thought you was above dat." _

_"H-h-how did she know?" _he'd asked in a small voice.

_"My girl went to yo' place to talk to yo' ass n' walked in on you n' Blondie dancin' da horizontal mambo." _ Cindy had paused, letting her words sink in.

Logan was desperate. _"_ _Cindy_ _, I need to talk to Max. Let me talk to Max." _

_"Yo' too late. My boo took off last night. Fo' good." _

She'd hung up on him then.

It all started the night before. Logan had taken to wallowing in self pity. He thought back over the last few months. Max had become distant, largely due to the retrovirus she carried that was targeted specifically to his own DNA. They couldn't touch without it killing him. That weighed heavily on their relationship, such as it was.

Then there was the fact that Max was spending so much time with Alec. Alec being a fellow X5 shared a similar background and experiences and that was obviously comforting to Max. Comforting enough that she began to let Alec take a larger role in her life. And while Logan and Max were drifting apart, Alec and Max were getting closer. It was only a matter of time…

So when Asha had come by last night to discuss the next morning's mission, he'd been extremely vulnerable. Asha had offered a shoulder to cry on and he'd taken it. Then she'd offered him her body and he'd taken that too. And it felt damn good

But he'd been wracked with guilt this morning. Logan had just finished asking Asha not to say anything about their encounter to Max when Originally Cindy called.

" Logan ? Are you alright?" Asha's soft voice permeated the haze clouding his mind.

"Huh? Uh, no. It's Max. She knows about us." He answered quietly.

Asha stilled, stunned. "When? How?"

"She was here. Last night. She saw us and she left. Cindy said she left. Left Seattle ." Logan choked out. He was a broken man and Asha gathered him in her arms.

"Shhhhh." She crooned. "It's gonna be ok, Logan . We'll get through this together. Shhh." She pulled him to her and he let her.

After a while Asha looked at Logan . "You ready to go? We have to finish this thing today."

Still in a daze, Logan nodded. He went to his desk, opened the drawer and removed his Beretta. Slipping it in the waistband of his pants, he gathered up his car keys and together they left the penthouse.

* * *

Back at Jam Pony 

"Alec, my man" Sketchy called from across the room. "There's no answer."

Shit. Figures that when we need the Log he wouldn't be around. "I guess we're just gonna have to go borrow his stuff then, Sketch. You game?" some of the real Alec had come back into his voice and his friend sighed in relief.

"Sure man, I'm game. What are we gonna tell Normal ?" He gave Alec a sceptical look.

"Leave that to me." Alec stormed off in search of his boss.

* * *

Logan and Asha crept stealthily through the dark warehouse. It was eerily silent and a sense of foreboding washed over Logan . If not for last night Max would have been here he kept thinking to himself. Max had a knack for sensing danger before it happened. Her enhanced hearing and sharp reflexes had gotten them out of more situations than he could count. 

Asha motioned to him to hold his position. She spoke softly into her comms unit. "Gavin, Trish, the information we need should be on the computer in the office. Travis, Logan and I will set the explosives. Stay low. Now move out."

Logan extracted the bricks of C-4 from his side bag. He handed them to Asha along with the detonators. They crawled toward the far recesses of the room, strategically placing explosives as they went.

Suddenly, Asha stopped. Logan opened his mouth to question her but snapped it shut as he focused on the sight in front of him.

A team of sector police had raided the building. Seeing their firearms raised and aimed at the S1W, Logan screamed.

"Wait! Don't shoo—"

I never got to apologize was the last thought in his head before his world exploded in a raging inferno.

* * *

Alec picked the lock quickly. He motioned to Sketchy to enter and swiftly closed the door behind him. 

Sitting down at Logan 's computer, Alec set to work.

Sketchy turned on the television, flipping channels every few minutes. TV sucks He looked at his friend who was hunched over the keyboard, tapping in an extremely irritating manner. Tap, tap, tap. I'm gonna go insane

"What exactly are you doing, Alec?" They'd been there for over two hours and Sketchy was bored.

"Trying to figure out what happened to Biggs. See if there were any strange vehicles around Crash last night. All comings and goings through sectors are reported and recorded in the police databases." Alec kept his eyes on the monitor.

Sketchy shrugged. Dull, dull, dull. He shook himself. Man, what am I thinking? My friend is missing and all I can think about it how bored I am. "Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked his friend, guilty that he hadn't suggested it before.

"Nah Sketch, it's all good."

Sketchy turned his gaze back to the TV and his mouth dropped in shock.

"Uh, Alec? I think you should take a look at this." He called to his friend in a shaky voice.

Alec heard the distress in his voice and hurriedly rose from his place. He crossed the room and stared at the screen in horror.

_"This is Felicity Corbrand for JDT News reporting live on the scene. I'm standing in front of the Farrington Stock House in Sector 9, _ _Seattle_ _Washington_ _, where an explosion ripped through the building under an hour ago. _

_"We've just been told that__ t__he building was rigged with explosives that seem to have been set off prematurely, trapping the saboteurs inside. _

_"Our exclusive information comes from the _ _Seattle_ _ PD. It has been confirmed that the S1W and Eyes Only, now identified as _ _Logan_ _ Cale of Cale Industries, were killed in the blast. Sources say…" _

Alec and Sketchy looked at each other in disbelief. Eyes Only dead?

A loud beep from the computer startled them out of their stunned stupor. Alec scuttled over to the monitor.

Suddenly he slammed his fist of the table. "Oh, FUCK!"

"What is it?" Sketchy's eyebrows furrowed in apprehension as he waited for Alec to continue.

Alec sat up straight and rigid. "Looks like today it's just one shitty thing after the other."

"I got the search results. There was only one vehicle logged at the checkpoint near Crash last night. Around midnight ." Alec turned to Sketchy, his face pale and pinched. "It belonged to a Vividyne Labs. Do you know what that is, Sketch?"

Sketchy shook his head. The look on Alec's face scared the shit out of him.

Alec's breath hissed out. "Vividyne Labs is a cover for Manticore. Biggs is back at Manticore."


	5. Preparations

**Too Far Gone**

** Part Five**

**

* * *

**

_**Previously:**_

_Alec sat up straight and rigid. "Looks like today it's just one shitty thing after the other."_

_"I got the search results. There was only one vehicle logged at the checkpoint near Crash last night. Around midnight ." Alec turned to Sketchy, his face pale and pinched. "It belonged to a Vividyne Labs. Do you know what that is, Sketch?"_

_Sketchy shook his head. The look on Alec's face scared the shit out of him._

_Alec's breath hissed out. "Vividyne Labs is a cover for Manticore. Biggs is back at Manticore."_

_

* * *

_

**Preparations**

Max found Biggs lying on his bunk staring at the ceiling. He seemed lost in thought and she was reluctant to intrude but he needed to be briefed on the changes in command.

"At attention, soldier!" she barked out, startling him.

He glared at her. "What the fuck, Max! I'm not deaf."

"Is that how you address your CO?" she asked, eyes twinkling.

"My CO?" he repeated, confused. She smiled sweetly and nodded.

Biggs whistled. "How the hell did you manage that?"

"Dunno." she grinned. "Renfro told me ten minutes ago. I'm still having a hard time processing it myself!"

Max smiled dreamily. "Y'know, Biggs, my friend Alec was a CO too. When I was on the outside he could always kick my ass. He let me win though; thought I didn't know he was better than me. I always felt insecure around him for it. And I took it out on him. Treated him like crap…Anyway, who'da ever though I'd be CO one day? I'd love to go up against him now, get a little payback."

Biggs laughed. "You always kick ass, Max. You don't need to prove yourself to anyone."

Max's face broke out in a genuine smile. "You're good for my ego, Biggs. Thanks."

She looked at Biggs for a moment before continuing. "There's something else I need to tell you. I'm being sent out on a mission tomorrow morning."

Biggs' face fell. "How long will you be gone?" he asked, dejected at the thought of her leaving. He and Max were close friends and the prospect of being separated from her for any period of time made him unhappy.

"C'mon, Biggs! You didn't seriously think I'd leave my Second In Command behind did you?"

Max couldn't help but laugh at Biggs' expression. First confusion, then shock and finally as it dawned on him, his face had taken on a look of deep satisfaction, and his chest puffed out in pride.

"SIC? Sweet!" he said as he flashed her a huge grin. Then his face turned serious. "This is a lot of responsibility, Max."

"Tell me something I don't know," she muttered in reply.

They sat in silence as they considered their new status. It was somewhat surprising that two recaptured soldiers such as themselves had been promoted to positions of command. And it was even more surprising that they were being sent on a mission alone. Flight risks were usually kept under scrutiny. The situation confused them.

"You think it's a test? Of loyalty, I mean? 'Cuz we can't afford to screw this up, Max. I _won't_ go back to Psy-Ops. I just won't." Biggs' tone was harsh and his face reflected a deadly determination. And she knew he meant it. He'd do _anything_.

Max and Biggs were seated across from the Director as she droned on about the mission. Max listened intently. She knew Biggs was right; they couldn't afford to screw up this mission. Psy-Ops aside, Max had begun to settle in back at Manticore, had even come to grudgingly acknowledge it at her home.

Renfro handed them each a dossier. Their target was a fellow X5 who'd escaped when the Seattle facility had been cauterized a little over a year before.

"Your target is X5-494. He has relocated to the city of Seattle . Intel has it that he is the leader of a compound called Terminal City and that there are close to 2000 transgenics, transhumans and anomalies living there. Your mission is to find and eliminate him. He is a threat to Project Manticore and all our soldiers. A threat to your future.

"You will find a physical description of your target in this dossier. Special skills, abilities and known weaknesses are documented as well. I have also included his last known address.

"In addition to 494, he keeps company with various other X5's. Should you manage to find any of them, you will attempt to bring them in. Contact me if you need back-up." She looked from Max to Biggs. "Are your mission parameters clear?"

"Ma'am, yes Ma'am!" they replied in unison.

"Very well. You leave at 0900. Agent Sandoval will provide you with the necessary weapons for this mission. See him on your way out. Dismissed." Renfro motioned for the door and Max and Biggs left the room.


	6. Recon

**Too Far Gone**

** Part Six **

**

* * *

**

**_Previously:_**

_"Your target is X5-494. He has relocated to the city of Seattle . Intel has it that he is the leader of a compound called Terminal City and that there are close to 2000 transgenics, transhumans and anomalies living there. Your mission is to find and eliminate him. He is a threat to Project Manticore and all our soldiers. A threat to your future._

_"You will find a physical description of your target in this dossier. Special skills, abilities and known weaknesses are documented as well. I have also included his last known address._

_"In addition to 494, he keeps company with various other X5's. Should you manage to find any of them, you will attempt to bring them in. Contact me if you need back-up." She looked from Max to Biggs. "Are your mission parameters clear?"_

_"Ma'am, yes Ma'am!" they replied in unison._

_"Very well. You leave at 0900. Agent Sandoval will provide you with the necessary weapons for this mission. See him on your way out. Dismissed." Renfro motioned for the door and Max and Biggs left the room._

_

* * *

_

**Recon**

Two days later, they pulled up at a Motel on the outskirts of Seattle. The drive from Manticore had been long and boring. Biggs and Max took turns at the wheel, and the days passed slowly. The radio had begun grating on their nerves and conversation had run dry about 200 miles into the trip. Max thanked the Blue Lady it was over.

Biggs was sprawled out on his bed, watching television. Max was sitting in an armchair, looking over the documentation on X5-494.

_Physical Attributes  
Male Caucasian, Aged 22 years, Height: 6'1, Weight: 178lb., Eyes: Hazel/Green, Hair: Dark Blonde _

There was a photo of their target taken not long before his escape. Hover drone footage showed what seemed to be a bar of sorts and additional photos of a place called 'Jam Pony' suggested two locations the target frequented.

Max continued her perusal of the file. There was information regarding 494's weapons training, Martial Arts and other proficiencies, spoken languages, records of mission successes and failures. She finally found what she was looking for._  
_  
_Known Flaws  
Subject is reluctant to kill unless provoked, a liability in the field; He is an independent thinker and may disobey orders if he deems them unsatisfactory; Subject's tendency to become emotionally attached led to mission failure. As a result, subject underwent intense Psy-Ops observation and reindoctrination; Subject possesses a significant element of unpredictability. Proceed with caution_

"Hey, Biggs" He raised his head and looked at Max.

"494's got mad skills. We're gonna have to do some major recon. I don't want to be caught off my guard with this guy."

"Yeah, I read the file. Wouldn't wanna be in a gun fight with him, that's for sure! Did you see those records? Trigger-happy much?" Max grinned.

"Okay here's the deal. 494 has been sighted on numerous occasions at a bar called Crash. It's a joint over in Sector 9. I want you to do some recon. Scout the place. Possible exits, vantage points, you know the drill. I'll check out the target's last known address. With any luck, he still lives there. We'll meet back at the Motel at 1600 hours."

She snapped the file shut and crossed the room. Max always loved the gadgets and gizmos that came with the job and the reconnaissance for a mission could cause as big a rush as any heist she'd ever pulled. But back to the situation at hand.

Max picked up the miniscule camera Agent Sandoval had given her. A piece of perfection, it fit in the palm of her hand. She pocketed it, then moved on to the next piece of equipment. She picked up a sheath and strapped it to her right ankle, slipping the Kris knife inside. Repeating the action with her Butterfly on the left ankle, she lowered her pant legs to cover them. Max then moved on to the T-Handle, strapping it to her wrist. Easing her gun into the waistband of her pants, she saw Biggs do the same. He nodded to her. They then slipped on their packs and exited the room.

They had decided to find separate means of transportation. Biggs took the car. Max had other ideas.

She crept into the lot, crouched low behind a row of confiscated cars and motorcycles. Looking them over carefully, she finally settled on a beautifully sleek, black and silver bike: a Kawasaki Ninja 500R. It was old, but in pristine condition. She crooned softly. "Whaddaya say baby? You wanna go for a ride?"

Max quietly rolled the bike out of the lot and pushed it through a gap in the fence. She hopped on, kick started it and revved the engine. It purred sweetly between her legs. She squealed in delight as she sped off.

Max arrived shortly thereafter at the address she'd been given. The building was old and grubby looking. Seattle was a city that had seen better days. For the better part of 10 years it had gone from bad to worse; streets littered with refuse, walls sprayed with graffiti. Many buildings had no hot water and problematic piping and electrical wiring. 494's building was no different it seemed.

She entered the foyer and made her way down the dimly lit hall toward the stairwell. The stairs groaned with every step she took and she wondered if the structure would collapse. Max was slight of build and the very fact that they steps strained beneath her weight was worrisome.

Number 24. Here it is. Max put her ear to the door, listening for signs of life within. There were none. She extracted her picks and proceeded to work the lock. There was a soft 'click' and she turned the knob slowly and pushed the door open.

She stepped into a surprisingly large room. It was sparsely furnished, she noted, but homey. The apartment smelled comfortingly familiar. Like soap, aftershave and leather. I love that smell. No, I _know_ that smell Perhaps someone from her past used the same toiletries, who knew. She dismissed the thought and resumed her visual sweep of the room.

The kitchen opened out on to the living area. Max walked over to the refrigerator and looked inside. A bottle of milk, half a sandwich and a couple of pieces of cheese took up little space. Does this guy eat?.

She then opened some cupboards. There were assorted cans of food. Chili, tuna, beans and vegetables, some spam and pasta sauce. Aside from that, the kitchen was bare.

Taped to the refridgerator was a photo of 494 and a black woman with frizzy hair. They were perched atop bicycles in front of a brick building. The sign behind them read 'Jam Pony Messengers'. Aha, so that's where you hide out all day. Have to tell Biggs.

494, if indeed it was 494's apartment she was in, didn't have much in the way of possessions. His bedroom was equally bare, consisting of a double bed, a single closet and a chair. But what she saw by the door floored her.

Max reached up and lifted the picture frame from the shelf. It's just not possible! But it was. Staring back at her from the frame was a photograph. A photograph of 494 with his arm draped over her shoulders, the two of them surrounded by happy, laughing faces. Balloons and streamers hung overhead.

Max turned the frame over and removed the picture. The inscription on the back read as follows:

_Thank's for a great birthday! I'll never forget it. _

_Max. _

Max squeezed her eyes shut in concentration. The faces in the photograph were familiar. The chocolate skinned girl, the boy with the his goofy smile and long blonde hair falling over one eye. The buxom blonde standing next to 494. And…Biggs!

She stared hard at the picture. How did Biggs know them? And if he knew them, why didn't they know each other? Wouldn't they have recognized each other at Manticore?

Realization swept over her and Max had to steady herself. Leaning against the wall, she slid down and put her head between her knees.

The brainwashing. That's what it was. The incomplete memories. The voices in her head. The conversations she replayed. They had been her friends. She knew them. Her life was falling into place again. But one thing bothered her.

She couldn't place him anywhere. 494. For the life of her she couldn't remember ever having met him.

Biggs entered Crash to find a ratty looking bar. This place is the pits. Why anyone would voluntarily spend time here sure as hell beats me

His eyes swept the room noting the two front doors, one on either side of the front wall, and a single exit at the back. A small secluded area at the side held a pool table, some tables and chairs. Not much to work with. He'd have to tell Max that if they decided to ambush their target inside Crash, which he didn't think was a good idea, they would have to find a way to maneuver 494 into the pool area.

Biggs left Crash and headed back to the Motel.

Max arrived moments after Biggs. She had driven around for the last couple of hours trying to clear her troubled mind. She was apprehensive about the mission. She couldn't seem to shake the feeling that 494 was someone she knew. Someone she cared about. Taking out a target was one thing, but knowing the target? Max knew she had to complete her mission. But the nagging feeling inside made her hesitate. Then she recalled the information on 494's file.

_Subject X5-494 was ordered to become intimately familiar with his target's daughter. Unfortunately, he became emotionally attached to her. When instructed to take out his target and the target's daughter he failed to successfully complete his mission. Subject apprehended the daughter, trying to warn her off, and deliberately failed to set the charges on the target's car. _

_X5-494 was admitted to Psy-Ops for thorough investigation and testing. _

Could she deliberately fail, knowing she would be subjected to torture? Not following through with her orders would result in re-admittance to Psy-Ops, an ordeal she did not wish to repeat and had yet to get over.

Biggs gave Max a searching look. "Max, you okay?"

"Huh?" she asked in a daze.

"You spaced out on me. I was asking you about the recon. How'd it go?"

She didn't look him in the eye. "It went fine. 494 still lives at the address. Not much in the way of belonging or food for that matter. Anyway, tomorrow we should check out that Jam Pony place. It's a bike messenger service and I think he works there."

"Sounds good. Let's go." Biggs agreed as he dropped onto his bed and promptly fell asleep.

How the hell can he sleep so much Max wondered. She had an annoying strand of DNA that was all shark. And as such, she didn't sleep much.

Max settled back into her pillows and let her mind wander. The rest of the night passed in relative peace and quiet.

They sat in the car some distance from Jam Pony. It was a little before 9am and they'd been in position for over an hour. Biggs suggested coming here before the messenger service opened so they could keep an eye on 494. The plan was for one of them to trail him during the day and the other to elicit as much information as possible from his boss and co-workers. But since she'd seen that photograph Max knew better. If they knew her and Biggs before, complications would arrise. Max wasn't ready to share that information with Biggs though. She hadn't yet decided what she was going to do.

"Here he comes." Biggs pointed toward the opposite end of the street. Max crouched lower in her seat and watched as 494 entered Jam Pony. Not long after he exited the building, his bag full of packages to deliver.

"Biggs, you trail him. I'm gonna do a little investigating of our target. I'll meet you back at the motel, say, 1800 hours?" He nodded. Max got out of the car and strode toward Jam Pony. She waited until the car was out of sight before turning in the opposite direction. She headed for the Space Needle, needing to be in a high place to think.

Max spent hours on the Needle as snippets of her past flashed in her mind. Her memory was waking up, slowly. But the one mystery she wished so desperately to solve evaded her. 494.

She rose reluctantly and made her way down to the street. She'd left her Ninja at the motel and she didn't relish the walk ahead. She sighed, tucked her head down against the cold and set off.

Max picked up some food on the way back. She knew Biggs would be as hungry as she was. X5's burned energy quickly and as a result they could eat like pigs.

She entered their room and settled down to wait for Biggs.

Biggs had been following his target all day. Moving through the various sectors, delivering package after package was driving him slowly insane. What the hell possessed this guy to take such a shitty job? He couldn't fathom doing anything so stupid. If I were on the outside, a few nice B&E jobs would suit me fine.

As soon as 494 had finished with his deliveries, he'd turned in the direction of Terminal City. The area was deserted and Biggs had to follow on foot, something he didn't much care for. The perimeter of Terminal City was dirty and dank and it made Biggs feel grimy.

He kept back, hiding behind piles of old rubble, and he watched 494.

On the opposite side of the fence, his target was conversing with a small group of people. Then, without warning, the lot of them jumped the fence. Bingo! Biggs smiled. Looks like Ifound the other X5's Renfro was talking about. If he and Max played their cards right, they'd be revelling in the praise of Manticore's elite. He rubbed his hands in anticipation.

Biggs walked back to the car and drove to meet Max.

  



	7. A Lesson in Futility

**Too Far Gone**

** Part Seven

* * *

**

_**Previously:**_

_He kept back, hiding behind piles of old rubble, and he watched 494._

_On the opposite side of the fence, his target was conversing with a small group of people. Then, without warning, the lot of them jumped the fence. Bingo! Biggs smiled. Looks like Ifound the other X5's Renfro was talking about. If he and Max played their cards right, they'd be revelling in the praise of Manticore's elite. He rubbed his hands in anticipation._

_Biggs walked back to the car and drove to meet Max._

_

* * *

_

**A Lesson in Futility**

Alec woke to find Cece and Original Cindy asleep on his couch, each girl's head resting on the other's shoulder. They'd taken to doing that whenever loneliness overwhelmed them. He knew that Cece missed Biggs. They all did. They missed Max too. Original Cindy had taken Max's absence the hardest. To Alec, it was like a knife to the gut where the wound never healed.

What had scared them all was the fact that she never called. It had been almost a year since she left Seattle . Cindy kept telling him 'My boo' woulda called. Sumthin's wrong.' And he agreed. For Max not to contact her best friend was unthinkable, and it indicated something was terribly amiss.

Alec had spent months searching for clues as to the whereabouts of his friends. With Eyes Only dead, most of Logan 's contacts had disappeared into the woodwork never to resurface. He was left to his own resources and those were minimal at best.

Alec's mind tortured him with agonizing memories whenever he thought of Biggs; of the fact that his best friend had been kidnapped, and most likely tortured into submission by Manticore. It had been his home for the first twenty years of his life. A place where he'd been created, not born. A place where playing 'soldiers' meant fighting to stay alive, where his mind had been manipulated, invaded, and raped at will. It was place of nightmares and pain.

Alec, Baz, Nell, Sketchy and Original Cindy had searched and researched, cracked and hacked, travelled, snooped, and in his and Baz's case, had even beaten people on occasion for scaps of information. All their efforts had been in vain. They were no closer to finding Manticore's location now than they were almost a year ago.

And Alec worried about Max. Every day he thought of how she'd left thinking the worst of him. How if she'd only told him what she felt he could have assured her he felt the same. Alec's heart bled, knowing that in the past year they could have shared the kind of love he'd only ever dreamed about. And each night in his bed he did what soldiers never do. He cried.

During his friends' absence, Alec was in dire need of diversion. And so he threw himself headfirst into building Terminal City in to a relatively safe haven for the displaced transgenics, transhumans and assorted anomalies that had found their way to Seattle . He'd organized raids and heists to facilitate necessary repairs. Set up a mess hall and bar for food and entertainment. And he'd established a command center that would have made Manticore proud. The inhabitants of TC worked together as a team and they were slowly becoming a nation. A secret nation, perhaps, but they were strong in number, strength and faith.

It had been a unanimous decision to elect Alec as their Commander. And one of the benefits of this was the loyalty they all showed him. In his pain and grief, TC did everything to help Alec find Biggs and Max. Even going so far as to use the funds at their disposal to assist him.

But now, months down the line, TC was stretched thin and Alec had called off the search.

Baz called it a lesson in futility. And Alec guessed that it was.

  



	8. Moving On

**Too Far Gone**

** Part Eight

* * *

**

_**Previously:**_

_It had been a unanimous decision to elect Alec as their Commander. And one of the benefits of this was the loyalty they all showed him. In his pain and grief, TC did everything to help Alec find Biggs and Max. Even going so far as to use the funds at their disposal to assist him._

_But now, months down the line, TC was stretched thin and Alec had called off the search._

_Baz called it a lesson in futility. And Alec guessed that it was._

_

* * *

_

**Moving On**

Alec knelt by the couch and gently shook OC and Cece awake.

"Good morning" he said, smiling softly at them.

Cindy opened one eye and cocked her head at Alec, a sheepish look on her face. "Original Cindy been takin' advantage of her baby boo's hospitality again, huh?"

Cece rubbed her eyes. "Sorry, Alec. I just didn't, you know, want to be alone."

Alec took a step forward and hugged her. "No need to apologize, Ce. It's all good."

"Gawd, Alec! Is dat da time? Normal's gonna can our sorry asses if we all don't get to work like now." She jumped from the couch and rushed into Alec's bathroom. Cece ran after her.

Alec smirked. "Cece, didn't know you were a 'sista playa'! Can I watch?" he said with a laugh. Cece stopped in her tracks, turned around, her face ashen. Alec realized his mistake. Quickly rushing to her side, he enveloped her in a hug and whispered into her hair. "I'm sorry, I didn't think."

And so it began. Each day was a repeat performance. One of them would make a joke, someone would remember the loss, and they'd all end up miserable.

Alec sighed and stepped away from the circle of pain he'd involuntarily caused. The three friends then dressed, shovelled breakfast, and rushed out the door.

Alec entered Jam Pony to see Normal tossing packages right and left as the messengers went about their business. Normal noticed Alec and grinned. "How's my rock star this morning? Need to keep up that strength if you want to get back in the ring!" he said, handing Alec a pile of packages.

"Ray, my man, you contradict yourself! If I need to keep my strength up, why send me on long, tiring rides?" Alec teased lightly, inwardly cringing at the nickname bestowed upon him by his overly affectionate boss. Not that Alec had anything against same sex relationships...he just didn't want to be part of one.

Normal shook his head. "You're the best. Set a good example to the rest of these slackers! First two are hot runs. Now, get. Bip-bip-bip!"

The 'rock star' stuffed the packages into his bag and exited the premises. Weaving his bike through the streets of the City, Alec was on edge. He couldn't shake the feeling that he was being watched, but when he reverted to training and sought the source of his anxiety, mainly whoever was spying on him, he could find no evidence to confirm his suspicions. There I go again. My imagination is making me paranoid. He continued on his way.

All through the day he'd felt it. Every so often the hair on the back of his neck stood up or goose bumps would assail him. He was tired, cold, hungry and he desperately wanted to kick back and relax. Alec decided it was high time to go to TC and pick up his friends. An evening at Crash would soothe his soul. I really need a drink right now and scamming Sketchy at pool will be fun, not to mention easy money...

Once inside Terminal City, Alec ran into Cece, Baz and Nell. "Hey, whassup?" he greeted them with as much cheer as he could muster. Baz caught the strain in his voice and stopped short.

"What's wrong?" All eyes were now on Alec.

"I don't know. All day I've had this really bad feeling. Like someone was following me. It was creepy." He shrugged. "Whatever. Let's go to Crash. I feel like alcohol. Whaddaya say?"

The others agreed. It would be a good way to unwind. And without so much as a what have you, the four of them vaulted over the perimeter fence. Alec pulled back and turned to his friends.

"You guys go on ahead. There's something I need to do first. I'll meet you at Crash in a bit." they nodded and walked off.

Alec's little detour took him to the Space Needle, Max's favourite thinking spot.

I always feel closer to her here he thought as he climbed slowly to the top. The scent of cherry taunted his nose. A scent that was very much like Max. God have I got an overactive imagination! I can actually smell her shampoo. he shook his head sadly and sat down.

Alec's body trembled slightly as the chilled air caressed him. He hugged his knees. He sat for a long while, deep in thought, until the need for alcohol won out.. He _really_ needed to let loose. Alec rose to his feet and took one last look at the city sprawled below.

"Where are you, Max? He whispered to the wind.

A few hours, two bottles of scotch and ten pitchers of beer later, the four transgenics were relaxed and comfortable. Original Cindy and Sketchy had shown up and the group had removed themselves to the alcove by the pool table. The area was mostly secluded from the bustle of people that filled the bar.

Alec and Baz were laughing hysterically at a joke Sketchy had just cracked and Cindy was swapping DNA with a leggy brunette when suddenly an ear-splitting shriek shook them from their world.

"**OH.MY.GOD!**" Cece screamed. She was white as a sheet. The entire room fell silent, staring.

At the very moment Alec and the others turned in the direction of Cece's shaking finger there came a shattering "**NOOOOOOOO!**" and a resonating '**crack**'…

  



	9. Mission? Impossible!

**Too Far Gone**

** Part Nine

* * *

**

_**Previously:**_

_Alec and Baz were laughing hysterically at a joke Sketchy had just cracked and Cindy was swapping DNA with a leggy brunette when suddenly an ear-splitting shriek shook them from their world._

_"**OH.MY.GOD!**" Cece screamed. She was white as a sheet. The entire room fell silent, staring._

_At the very moment Alec and the others turned in the direction of Cece's shaking finger there came a shattering "**NOOOOOOOO!**" and a resonating '**crack**'…_

_

* * *

_

**Mission? Impossible!**

Max was tired of waiting. The food had already gone cold and she had no idea how long Biggs would be gone. They'd been forewarned that 494 was unpredictable. Biggs could be halfway to China by now.

At that very moment, Biggs sauntered into their room and planted himself in front of her. He smiled that 'All Biggs' smile and she couldn't resist returning one of her own. He looked very pleased with himself.

"So," she began. "How'd it go?"

"Well, I think we struck gold, Max!" Max couldn't remember when she'd seen Biggs this excited. It was nice. But at his next words, her heart stuck in her throat.

"I found some of the other X5's. I stopped to call the Director on the way back here. We're to call her immediately after we take out 494 and restrain the rogues." He was grinning now.

Max forced herself to stay calm. In the few hours she'd been waiting Max had come to a startling decision. She could _not_ take out 494 until she knew for certain what he was to her. Something tugged at her mind whenever she pictured his face and it gave her no peace. Max knew she had to play along until she came up with a plan.

"An added bonus, and on your first mission as SIC! Impressive by any standards." she smiled, hoping her words sounded convincing.

Biggs eyed her strangely. "What's up Max? You don't look so hot."

Max covered quickly. "No, no! I'm fine. Just missing Zane." Biggs nodded sagely and Max let out a mental sigh of relief.

"Status report?" Biggs got right to the point.

"494 and 3 other unidentified X5s went to Crash. If they follow the same patterns we discerned before, it's very likely they will be there for some time yet. I suggest we take out the target tonight and apprehend the other rogues." Max nodded as if in agreement.

"Ready?"

"Always."

"Ok. Let's get this bitch over with."

Max set her earpiece in place as Biggs did the same. Comms units were working and they would be able to communicate as long as they stayed within the pre-arranged parameters. The two made their way into Crash and pushed steadily through the crowd.

Max took the right side of the room, Biggs the left. Biggs was the designated assassin. Max shuddered. It was a cold word. A harsh reality. But she knew, according to what she had been told about 494, that assassinating the target was tactically correct. She signalled to Biggs to move into position and wait for her call.

Max watched as Biggs raised his weapon, waiting for his cue to take out their target. At that very moment she heard laughter, as the group near the pool table reacted to whatever it was the goofy-looking blonde guy had said. Then, the blonde girl tugged at 494's arm and said "Alec..."

Max snapped back in shock. It hit her like a head-on collision. 494 was _Alec_, her friend, her confidante. And as the memories raced in her mind she remembered the most important thing of all: he was the man she loved above all else.

She struggled to remain calm. She had to do something, fast, else Biggs would take Alec out of the equation. Max knew she had to protect Alec.

Biggs glanced at her, wondering what was taking so long. They had 494 exactly where they wanted him and he was oblivious to the danger they posed. 494 was a sitting duck. But then, Biggs noted Max's agitation. He spoke softly into his comms unit. "452, focus! Tell me when you're ready." She was losing focus and that could mean failure. And failure was unacceptable. There's no way in hell I'm going back to Psy-Ops! he thought as he took a step forward. He cocked his gun and aimed at 494.

Max knew Biggs was right, she was losing sight of the objective. But what he didn't know was that the objective had changed. There was no way she would let Alec die, not even if it meant she died instead of him.

Max caught the glint of light on metal as she saw the blonde girl, whom she now remembered as Cece, Biggs' girlfriend for fuck's sake! pointing at Biggs in horror. She heard Cece scream.

"**OH. MY. GOD!**"

The entire room fell silent, staring in bewilderment at the scene unfolding before them.

At the very moment Alec and the others turned in the direction of Cece's shaking finger Max let out a shattering "**NOOOOOOOO!**"

Biggs had pulled the trigger, issuing forth a resonating '**crack**' that shook the room.

In the few seconds before the bullet would have struck Alec, his heart being the target, two thoughts went through Max's mind. One, she would never reach him in time to block the fatal shot and two, even if she warned him verbally it would register too late for him to take action. So Max did the only thing she knew would work. She shot Alec herself. She then fell into a roll and before Biggs could get off another round, and as she heard him let out a roar of frustration, she pulled the trigger yet again and Biggs fell to the floor, dead.

Alec collapsed on the ground, the pain in his leg was excruciating. The very second he fell, a bullet whizzed over his head and imbedded itself in the wall behind him. He looked up at Baz in shock.

The mass of people that were at Crash dashed for the doors, screaming in panic. Cece rushed to Biggs' side and clutched his lifeless form to her as she shook, deep, terrified sobs wracking her body. Baz and Nell grabbed Max who lay heaving and crying on the stairs, frozen in shock at her actions. There wasn't time to process her presence or assess the damage. They had to get out before they all got caught. There would be time enough to deal with the consequences when they got back to Terminal City.

Original Cindy and Nell picked Max up and made their way out of crash, Sketchy followed behind supporting a wounded Alec. And Baz had the worst part to play. He had the burden of carrying the quickly stiffening body of one of his best friends to safety. As they scurried through the dark night, Biggs' body grew hard and cold. Very much like the feelings they now all shared for Max.

  



	10. Internment & Persuasion

**Too Far Gone**

** Part Ten

* * *

**

_**Previously:**_

_The mass of people that were at Crash dashed for the doors, screaming in panic. Cece rushed to Biggs' side and clutched his lifeless body to her as she sobbed, deep, terrified sobs. Baz and Nell grabbed Max who lay heaving and crying on the stairs, frozen in shock at her actions. There wasn't time to process her presence or assess the damage. They had to get out before they all got caught. There would be time enough to deal with the consequences when they got back to Terminal City._

_Original Cindy and Nell picked Max up and made their way out of crash, Sketchy followed behind supporting a wounded Alec. And Baz had the worst part to play. He had the burden of carrying the quickly stiffening body of one of his best friends to safety. As they scurried through the dark night, Biggs' body grew heavy and cold. Much like the feelings they now shared for Max._

_

* * *

_

**Internment & Persuasion**

The thought of it made her shudder. She'd come to Seattle to take a life and in the end she had. Just not one she had ever considered taking. She still couldn't believe she had killed one of her closest friends. It wasn't enough that she was wracked with guilt for what she'd done, and that the pain was so intense she wanted to die. The fact that no one would listen to her explanations cut deep. Max's entreaties fell on deaf ears.

When they'd arrived in Terminal City, hordes of people came out to meet them. Nell had called ahead, telling them to prepare a secure room for questioning and detention. "We're bringing in a traitor." had been her exact words.

Max had long since run out of tears. She was tired, cold and hungry but she knew it was unlikely they would show her any compassion. As far as the inhabitants of TC were concerned, Max had murdered one of her own kind in cold blood. Betrayal in its purest form.

Joshua was the only one who came to sit by her door. Alec didn't trust anyone else not to assault the prisoner. And he had been instructed not to speak to Max. She was in solitary confinement, hell on earth, and had no where else to turn. Max wondered if enduring Psy-Ops wouldn't have been preferable to this.

She leaned against the door, knowing Josh was on the other side. She decided to beg one last time. What else have I got to lose?

"Big Fella, I know you can hear me. And if you don't want to answer me, that's fine. I know the evidence against me is damning, and it's true, I _did_ kill Biggs. But I swear to you on _Annie's memory, _that I did it_ to save Alec!_ If you ever believed in me, please believe that! I _must_ speak to Alec, _please_. If it's the last thing I do before I die, please ask him to listen to what I have to say." Max's breath caught in her throat. What's the fucking point? I've already been condemned. She knew that with a betrayal such as this it was only a matter of time before they executed her. And from deep within, the tears she thought had died, returned. And she cried.

Max didn't say another word. The silence stretched as seconds turned to minutes, minutes to hours and hours to days.

Joshua has spent the last two days listening to Max sobbing behind the door. And every time he wanted to reach out to her. The only thing holding him back was that Alec had told him not to interact with the prisoner. It pained Joshua to think of Max as a traitor, to know that she was being held against her will, that she was suffering. So he tuned her out.

But after her last request, before the silence had set in, he had broken. Max knew how intensely he had loved Annie, and by swearing on her memory he knew she truly meant what she said. Joshua decided it was time for Alec to listen. Really listen.

Joshua left his post and headed for the Command Center. He saw Alec deep in discussion with a group of X5's.

"Medium Fella? Need to talk." Alec looked up at him and smiled.

"What about, Josh?"

"Max."

With that single word, the smile fell from Alec's lips and his face suffused with anger.

"No."

"YES." was Joshua's harsh retort. Joshua rarely, if ever, got angry and Alec took notice.

"Fine. In my office." he nodded curtly toward the room on his right and they went inside.

"What?" Alec was being rude, and he knew it. But discussing Max was not something he wanted to do. Every time someone brought up her name the scene replayed in his head, and he saw his best friend die all over again.

"Joshua thinks Little Fella had good reason for what she did. Joshua thinks Medium Fella needs to listen."

"Medium Fella doesn't wanna listen to anything that bitch has to say." Alec replied, his voice resembling a growl.

"Maybe not want, but Medium Fella _need._" Joshua stood, looked at Alec for a while and then silently left the room to return to his post.

And Alec? He sat and contemplated Joshua's words. Maybe he did need to hear it. Even if he wasn't going to believe it.

  



	11. Revelations

**Too Far Gone**

** Part Eleven

* * *

**

_**Previously:**_

_"Joshua thinks Little Fella had good reason for what she did. Joshua thinks Medium Fella needs to listen."_

_"Medium Fella doesn't wanna listen to anything that bitch has to say." Alec replied, his voice resembling a growl._

_"Maybe not want, but Medium Fella _need_." Joshua stood, looked at Alec for a while and then silently left the room to return to his post._

_And Alec? He sat and contemplated Joshua's words. Maybe he did need to hear it. Even if he wasn't going to believe it._

_

* * *

_

**Revelations**

Alec let himself into Max's room and slammed the door behind him. Startled, she lifted her head warily. They stared at each other in silence until Alec thought he was going to scream.

"Josh said you wanted to tell me something. Well, go ahead and get it over with already. The sight of you makes me sick." He spoke slowly, and deliberately.

Max took in his tightly controlled stance and hard words. And she quietly began to speak.

"I know I'm the last person on earth you want to see, let alone listen to. But please hear me out and don't interrupt." He nodded curtly.

"That night I showed up at your door, I'd wanted to talk. You were, busy, to say the least. I'd had a pretty rough day and the weight of it pushed me over the edge. I went home and told Cindy I was leaving. I had fully planned on going to California, maybe look for my family. Clear my head, that kinda thing.

"At the Sector checkpoint, I was ambushed by Renfro and some Manticore thugs. They took me back, went to work on me and fucked with my head. Psy-Ops, reindoc, you know the drill. Then they put me in isolation which is where Biggs found me.

"We were assigned to the same unit. And over the past year we became really close. We were always paired for training and missions. And recently we were both promoted in rank. They made me CO." Alec snorted. She's delusional. She's actually gone insane!

"Whether you choose to believe me or not, it's true. Biggs was my Second. This was our first mission alone. I didn't understand why they were letting us out, but now I think I do. I think they were hoping one or both of us would remember our pasts, that taking out our target would trigger the memories. That would be just like Manticore to torture us in the worst way possible. Making us turn on our own.

"They succeeded, didn't they?" Max threw her hands up in despair. But she looked hard at Alec and continued.

"You were our target, Alec." That got his attention all right.

"What the fuck are you talking about, Max?" He decided to humor her. Not that Manticore didn't want him dead, he was pretty sure they did. But the notion that he was important enough for them to send an assassination team after him? Ludicrous.

"Renfro had information on your little set-up here in Terminal City. In her own words '494 is a threat to Project Manticore and all our soldiers. A Threat to your future.' You have to remember our minds were wiped, Alec. We followed orders like good soldiers. Like you used to do.

"When we got to Seattle we did some recon. Biggs checked out Crash and TC, I took your apartment. It's there that I first started getting my memory back." Max paused as she recalled what she felt when she first saw the photo of her and Alec. Something akin to physical pain washed over her as the memories assaulted her tired mind again.

Alec was suddenly thoughtful, as he listened to Max's account. The sincerity of her words tugged at his heart and he reluctantly began to hope. Hope that Max was innocent.

"Go on." he urged, now wanting to hear the what she said in earnest.

Max gave him a look of surprise but continued softly.

"I saw the photograph on the shelf in your bedroom. I couldn't understand what I was doing there. I didn't know you! Couldn't remember ever having met you, let alone spending time with you. And when I took the picture out of the frame and saw the inscription, things started coming back to me. I recognized Cindy, Sketchy, Cece... but not you.

"I decided not to tell Biggs about it." Alec's face clouded over at the mention of his friend's name and Max started to cry. Oh God She took a deep breath before proceeding.

"Biggs followed you around that day. Made sure you guys were being as predictable as you had been throughout our recon. He was going to take the shot, it was his chance to prove worthiness of his new status. What did we know, Alec? It's how they programmed us..." Max pleaded with him, willing him with her eyes to understand their actions.

"But when we got to Crash, I heard Cece call you by your name. And I remembered you! Oh god, you have no idea how hard it was for me to do what I did! I heard Cece scream, and I saw Biggs aim at you and I knew in that split second that if I didn't shoot your leg out from under you, there wouldn't be enough time to save you.

"I loved Biggs with all my heart, he was the best, the only friend I had this past year, and we shared _everything. EVERYTHING! There wasn't a waking moment we didn't spend together._

"But when he pulled the trigger, he became the enemy, Alec. You have to see that. _ He was going to kill you!_ He didn't know who you were. And he told me, earlier, he would do _anything_ to stay out of Psy-Ops. So I shot him. There wasn't anything else I could do..." Max was full out sobbing now, and she slumped to the ground in defeat. Whatever happened next, it was out of her hands.

  



	12. Epilogue

**Too Far Gone

* * *

**

**Previously:**

_"I loved Biggs with all my heart, he was the best, the only friend I had this past year, and we shared __everything. _EVERYTHING! There wasn't a waking moment we didn't spend together.

_"But when he pulled the trigger, he became the enemy, Alec. You have to see that. He was going to kill_ you! _He didn't know who you were. And he told me, earlier, he would do _anything _to stay out of Psy-Ops. So I shot him. There wasn't anything else I could do..." Max was full out sobbing now, and she slumped to the ground in defeat. Whatever happened next, it was out of her hands._

_

* * *

_

**Epilogue**

Max's POV

It's been a week since I last heard from Alec. He's been trying so hard to keep it together, to stay friends. And I appreciate it. If anything, he should hate me. But thank the Blue Lady he doesn't. I don't think I'd have the strength to keep going if he cut ties with me. He's the only link I have to my past.

The night I saved his life and killed Biggs, I lost everything I cared about. I lost my friends, my family. Nothing has ever hurt me as much as the look in their eyes when Alec set me free.

I'd stumbled over my feet, allowing myself a final glance at the place and people I'd called home. The disgust and hatred I saw there made me want to curl up and die.

I wonder if I'll ever see Alec again. I love him. Love makes you do strange things. Love made me kill my friend. How fucked up is that? Love is a lemon.

Deck always told us, 'If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.' I hate lemonade, Deck! It's bitter and it bites, and it makes my skin crawl.

Deck? You wanted a soldier? Come and get me. There's nothing left but this travesty called life. Bring it on.

* * *

Alec's POV 

"Hey buddy.

"It's been four months since that day. It still shocks me that an act born of love has brought so much pain.

"After hearing Max's explanation, I stalked out of the room without saying a word. I had such a hard time accepting the truth: That my best friend had really come back to Seattle to kill me. We 'd been the best of friends for so long; we were like brothers.

"It took a long time to convince the others to let Max go. No one could look at her. It was really bad, man.

"Joshua cried when she left. I felt so sorry for the Big Fella. Max was his family. Hell, she was mine. It hurt so bad leaving things the way we did. It still does.

"My life has been filled with pain and suffering. I'm not saying that because I want pity or sympathy. It's just a fact of life, born of Manticore. The place sucked the life out of us all before we knew how to talk. Manticore was our home, our prison, our reason for being. In this strange circle of life, I have to be honest. I wouldn't be here if not for Max. Admittedly, she wouldn't be here if not for Manticore, so in some fucked up way I have them to thank for my life.

"Max set me free. Set us all free physically, but she set me free emotionally. Helped me shed the hard, uncaring exterior to release the real me. She helped me see that life can be beautiful and full of joy. And it was Max who made me realize so much pain.

"I forgive her. I hate her. I love her. I have so many mixed up feelings towards her. And I need her so much its killing me to stay apart. But it's inconceivable to think she could stay here in Terminal City. They'd all run riot and she wouldn't stand a chance. It's why I made her leave.

"I call Max once a week to see how she's doing. I die a little every time I hear her voice. I'm still not sure if it's because of you or because of Max herself. But I know I miss her terribly.

"Maybe one day I'll go after her, take her in my arms and tell her how I feel. But until the ache lessens, I'm going to stick to the telephone. I won't throw away the only lifeline I have left. I only hope you don't think of that as a betrayal.

"Biggs, I'm standing at your grave, out here on the hill behind the Command Center. Cece planted flowers. I think she pulled a job at the Canadian Embassy to get them. We had a memorial service for you. You would have loved it. The guys were telling all your favorite jokes, singing all your favorite songs. Recounting happy memories from back in the day...Remember Khezmekistan? You always had a soft spot for Lola...

"I miss you, man. You're always in my thoughts. You're the best friend a guy could ever ask for. Now that you're gone, I've come to realize that life is too short to hold a grudge. So if you see my brother Ben up there, tell him I forgive him. Tell him I love him. And keep an eye out for us all down here, alright?

"I'm gonna go. But Biggs, buddy, one last thing . It's not my place but...try to forgive her, ok? It was an act born of love...for me."

Alec turned silently from the grave and made his way back down the hill. Time heals all wounds he thought. It was time to call Max. He missed her. Maybe he'd make the trip down to LA. Maybe...in time.

FIN


End file.
